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Watching Hockey With Beer

Tuesday, January 28, 2020 10:20:53 AM

WhatsApp Today is like no other day. Days like today only happen a few times a month and each time it causes me to count seconds on the clock till it hits 5pm. Today is a day when I feel like I am back in school on a late spring day where you just cannot wait to leave and go play with your friends. Today is circled on my work colander.

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I'm not in a relationship and don't foresee entering into one anytime soon, and some days I'm totally comfortable with that, but some days I can't help but wonder if I'm missing out, even though I feel like that's not right for me right now.

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You can be surrounded by people and in a committed relationship and be crushingly lonely, but you can also be alone and not lonely at all. I am single.

I have always been single.

I have never been in a long-term relationship. Between you, me and the lamppost, I could have had a relationship a number of times if I wanted it, but my standards are probably unrealistic.

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A lot of it probably has to do with the fact that the people around me have never made me feel like being in a relationship WAS the default. I never got that pressure from them.

I have worked hard to make the inside of my own head an interesting place to live, and myself a rewarding person to hang out with, since I am the person I spend the most time with. Nothing is without downsides in life.

In general, I love my life.

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But I definitely sometimes think…why has nobody ever loved me? Do I not deserve it? Am I just unlovable and hopelessly unattractive? I might not be an easy person to start a relationship with.

I shrug it off, mostly.

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I require nobody to complete me, I am a complete person in my own right. I am not alone in life and I can honestly say that I very rarely feel lonely if ever.

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